I feel like in the end I may be alone in my life without friends or someone to be with.
It’s depressing when you think about it, for many years since the year 2000 up until now 2017 I gone through lot of shit in my life I wish I could forget and not remember.
1. In 2001/2002 my best friend betraying me and behind my back going out with my girlfriend at the time, the funny thing about this is he presented her to me and things were great between her and I and catching them together that one day really messed me up and scarred me, yeah you can pretty much imagine if you gone through that yourself to make matters worse things got way ugly after that you see, after we broke up she called me on the phone saying things just happened and if we can be friends, I said no and hung up.
The few days after the break up the person I though was my best friend and a few of his friends came to my house looking for me supposedly wanting to talk but what really happened and I never told my parents about this was we got into a fight 3 (them) against 1 (me), my ex-girlfriend told them I was talking shit about her and them which is false as I never did but they didn’t believe me when I told them the truth, I won’t say I didn’t get my ass kicked but I did not go down by myself either I threw my punches and took them down with me also, after that we never spoke again, but we kept seeing each other on a daily basis as we went to the same school and we lived a few blocks from one another and the bus we took was the same one to get home.
2. In 2004 dated this amazing girl her name was Angel, we dated for a long time, she one day told me her dad was transferred to Texas and she had to move to Texas with her parents, we tried making a long distance relationship work and I thought things were going great at the time but in the end things did not work out and here is what happened, after almost a year and a half together she could have just broken up with me and told me the truth over the phone but she took it to a whole new level you see, she met someone and started dating that guy while at the same time we were in a relationship, I started to get suspicions after a while as I noticed she acted different when we were on the phone and talked, not to long after whenever I called her she never picked up the phone, whenever I called one of her parents would pick up and tell me she wasn’t home, later on she got one of her cousins to call me and tell me that she was in a car accident and that she had passed away I of course believed it as it wasn’t a subject to play around with, after I got that news I called her house but no one picked up and I tried for a couple of weeks but after that I gave up, then one day I was on Facebook and I see her profile it was current it had a latest post and a picture of her with her boyfriend, I of course sent her a message and afterwards I blocked her and everyone she was related too and made my Facebook private, it hurts a lot being lied to like that and finding out it was all a lie.
3. I met someone new someone else, we dated also for a long time and got engaged I proposed to her, she said yes everything was great between us or so I thought, the problem there was she also cheated on me but she did it with her ex, the problem there was he mistreated her, beat her, said horrible things to her, you can imagine, one day her ex came back to her life begging her for forgiveness, she told me all about it and I told her just ignore him and forget him but she didn’t, he asked her if she could accompany him to her mom’s grave at the cemetery, it wasn’t till I went to pick her up at her house one day I saw them together holding hands and making out, outside her house, I was with my cousin that day as he was giving me a ride and dropping me off as I did not have my driver license or knew how to drive for that matter, anyways that relationship was yet another fail and a painful one at that as I said we were engaged and we were getting married within 2 months of that day I caught her cheating on me, it devastated me a lot and I suffered a lot too.
I started asking myself questions as why where this kind of things always happening to me, what was I doing wrong but I never figured it out.
Since then I have not been in a relationship as I am honestly afraid and tired of getting hurt and not once in my life have I had a friend there to help me get through the pain alone I have always had to get through it by myself.
Regarding friends in my life I use to have a few really good friends in my life but I could never speak to them about relationship problems as they weren’t the type to help out when it came to that matter, we slowly drifted apart mostly I did anyways as I was given an opportunity to go to Dubai for a little over year for work, I tried keeping in contact with them, I gave them my magicjack phone number so they could reach me but they never did and when I called they never picked up, later on I found out they moved to another city or state with no way to get in touch with them, I tried getting in contact with them through Facebook but they never responded and their accounts was active so I never understood what happen nor an explanation for that matter I tried and tried but no luck.
In the early 2000’s I went through a lot of personal issues, I at the time thought about committing suicide and came close to it a couple of times I won’t deny that, had a lot of issues at home, issues with friends, ex-girlfriends I had a friend that was killed in front of me, it was a lot of shit I went and was going through at the time and being betrayed did not help but made things worse for me.
After the attempts on committing suicide I decided to try and get my life straight and alone I never told my parents any of this either but I did get through it alone almost I did have a little help from my pets who are now resting peacefully, they brought me a lot of happiness I wasn’t feeling alone anymore despite not having anyone or help from no one at the time.
What’s going on with my life now I’ll speak on another entry later but for now just one long piece of my past, will post more later also.